Before leaving for Vermont, I left my motorcycle with my
gifted, yet slow, mechanic Vidal. I
provided him with a list of what I wanted to be done and when we would return…4
months later. No surprise, 4 months
later and Vidal had discovered a couple of other problems that needed fixing.
So two weeks later I finally managed to pick up the R1150R. However upon
receiving the bike, Vidal could not find the circulation card. This is the
Guate equivalent of a registration/proof of ownership.
He apologized and said
he would take care of it as it was fault. However this is Guatemala.
In order to take care of the replacement card some things
needed to be in place. First you had to file a police report to indicate its
loss. Then you have to go to the SAT office to get the copy. Sounds simple
enough doesn’t it? It is then that I find out only the owner can file for the
replacement in person and you need to have the proper title. Not usually a
problem, but we have just moved into a new place and everything is in boxes. A
short search later I find the proper papers. Pretty lucky for me. I contact
Vidal and arrange to meet him near the SAT office. Vidal has the police report but prior to
getting the card you have to clear your files at the municipal office that was
fortunately close by. Vidal goes in and finds out there is a speeding ticket on
the motorcycle. Now the only way to discover this is go online or try to have
your papers put in order. Turns out the
speeding ticket was Vidal’s. So he goes to the bank to pay the fine (apparently
the municipal authorities cannot be trusted with money), takes the receipt to
the Muni office and gets the clearance papers.
Next it is off to the SAT office. We visit the clearance window
where a guy tells you whether or not your papers are in order. He questions the
police report because photocopies are not allowed and it was written in black
in ink. He finally agrees that the it is okay. So we are ready to go the office
itself. Well not really, first you have to get a copy of my passport, all 60
pages of it. So Diane and I get in line, a line with about 20 people on it
while Vidal gets the copies. Vidal comes
back, not to get online, but to tell me he has to pay first at a different bank. Into the bank Vidal goes and he returns about
10 minutes later to tell me he needs my NIT number. This is a National Identity
number that you need to buy anything of any value in Guatemala. I give him my
NIT papers that I just so happen to have. Ten more minutes and he returns. The
line crawls towards the door.
We reach the front and our papers are again reviewed by an
official. He also questions the police report but ultimately is satisfied. The
door opens and we are ready to get our papers. Except that inside is a set of
about 50 chairs that are the internal line. We play musical chairs for over an
hour until we reach the front. It has been an hour and half now, but I have not
flipped out yet. Diane remains outside reading her Kindle. We finally make it
to the vetanilla, the window for service. The woman looks over our paperwork
punches things into the computer and discovers, apparently, that I have a new
passport, so additional copies of my passport are needed. Vidal goes out to get
them. Now in a normal world the woman would have given Vidal the copies she
already had so they can be run through the copier is a fast efficient manner.
Did I say fast and efficient? This is still Guatemala. So she gives him my
passport and ten minutes later he returns with the additional copies that have
to be approved by a person on another line. There are only 4 or 5 people ahead
of us, but it still takes 20+ minutes. Apparently the printer is not working,
so each time she completes a transaction she has to go to another office to
pick up the copies. Finally she gets our crap, I sign it, have my picture taken
and I am fingerprinted. You can’t be too careful here.
We wait for the woman at the ventanilla to finish with her
current customer. We are now pushing 3
hours and patient Diane has called to see what the hell is going on. We sit
down and she reviews the papers and then tells us that the police report says
my motorcycle is a 2003 as opposed to the 2002 it actually is. Never mind that
the VIN number is correct. She tells Vidal that this needs to be fixed by the
police and we should return. BOOOM! I lose it, a bit. I tell them that there is
no freaking way that I am returning here and that this paperwork has been
checked by at least 3 other people. Guatemalans tend to be the sit down and
take it kind of people. She looks a bit appalled that I am pissed off and says
that she will check with her supervisor. Her supervisor decides that it will be
okay to issue the duplicate card. So she puts the info into the computer and
then we have to go to another line to pick up the card. Three hours later we
are good to go.
So when you whine about your motor vehicle bureau being slow
or efficient, remember you could be in Guatemala.
